


Torn

by MeetMeInTheMatinee



Category: John Wick (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Kinda changed the end of John Wick Chapter 3, Not Canon Compliant, Romantic Fluff, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2020-06-27 07:49:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19786456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeetMeInTheMatinee/pseuds/MeetMeInTheMatinee
Summary: A botched bookbinding attempt leads to a meet-cute for John Wick and small paper shop owner Kristen.





	1. Chapter 1

“Motherfucker!”  
John was frustrated. He had just ripped a page in the book he was supposed to be restoring.  
He leaned back hard against his chair and covered his face with his hands. He stayed that way for a moment, not quite ready to survey the damage. As he slid his hands down his face he opened his eyes and leaned forward, taking in a breath as he looked over the ragged inch long tear.  
It’s not too bad he thought. It wasn’t great, obviously, considering it was a pricey tome that he had planned on keeping for himself -- but it was fixable. He sulked for another moment before getting up and gathering the supplies he’d need for the repair job. He kept everything neatly arranged in the cabinet under the counter top across from his workbench.  
He pulled out the paste and brush he’d use to seal up the tear but came up empty handed when he went to grab the vellum needed to smooth everything out. “Fuck!” He exclaimed as he slammed the cabinet shut. 

Normally he ordered everything from an online paper restoration dealer but he really didn’t feel like putting the project on hold for the week it would take for shipping. He glanced at his watch. It was 11:30AM. Plenty of time to go hunt down some vellum from somewhere he thought as his stomach growled. “And lunch.” He said that last part aloud to no one in particular. Since losing Helen meals had become a chore -- one he often forgot about entirely. He spread his hands out in front of him and leaned against the counter for support. It had been a year and change since he’d lost her and the dog and the car and the house and ultimately his retirement. He inhaled deeply through his nose and exhaled through his mouth slowly. Trying to fight against the wave of grief crashing over him. He laughed bitterly to himself as he realised he was using his tactical training -- box breathing -- to regain his composure and slow his racing thoughts. After a minute he pushed away from the counter and headed upstairs.

None of the big box craft stores had what he needed. As a last ditch effort at salvaging this disaster of a day he pulled out his phone and searched for a paper store. There was one not too far from where he was now. “Perfect.” He muttered before slipping his phone back into his pocket and peeling out of the parking lot. 

He was hungry and irritated by the time he got into the shop. He didn’t even hear the friendly greeting called out by the person behind the register when he walked in. An entire wall of the shop was filled with wooden cubby like shelving that held what seemed like hundreds of kinds of paper in every colour one could ever think of. That’s a hopeful sign he thought as he made a beeline for it. He scanned the wall for what he was looking for and was startled when he heard a voice next to him. “Are you looking for something in particular?” “Vellum” he replied a little bit sharper than he intended. He was rattled. How the hell did she get so close without me noticing? He wondered. Was he quiet, yes. A Man of few words? Notoriously so. The kind to not pay attention and get crept up on in a fucking paper store? Absolutely not.  
“Uhh, ok.” She replied. “Is there a particular colour you’re looking for? All our vellum is in this section here.” She pointed and when he nodded in response she walked back over to her spot at the register. He went over and pulled out a stack of plain white vellum and then did a bit of browsing around before settling on a couple of Japanese brush tip pens to go with his paper.  
She was behind the register folding up a small bright green piece of paper. He watched for a moment before stepping forward and putting his items down. “Does your boss mind you making things on the clock?” He asked. She groaned inwardly, looked up from her small project and laughed. “That’s one of the many perks of owning your own shop” She said with a tight smile. He looked sheepishly away from her. She must think I’m a gigantic asshole he thought to himself. “So, do you draw?” She said eyeing the thick stack of vellum. He looked at her again and said “I bind and restore books.” Her eyes widened in surprise and lit up with delight. “That’s fascinating! I’d love to see your work sometime.” She blurted out. He nodded. “I can do that.” He said after a moment. He paid for his items and she handed him the tiny, bright green origami dog she had made along with her business card. The bells over the door tinkled as he stepped back out into the world. 

John was still feeling off balance. Food. You need to eat he thought to himself. He stopped at his favourite cafe, a French spot that had the best ham and cheese sandwiches and a cozy walled in patio out back of the place. He ordered a sandwich along with an iced coffee and an almond croissant for later on. I mean, I’m here -- I might as well he decided. There was a free spot on the back patio so he settled into a chair and made quick work of the sandwich. He enjoyed the warmth of the sun on his shoulders as he finished the rest of his iced coffee occasionally swirling the ice around in the glass absentmindedly while he watched the only entrance from behind the safety of his dark sunglasses. 

He pulled out his house keys to unlock the door and caught a flash of green as something fell out of his pocket. He bent down and picked up the origami dog that the woman from the paper shop had given him. He turned it over in his hands and shook his head as he stepped inside to be greeted by an overexcited Dog. Kicking off his shoes he dropped everything on the counter and knelt to give Dog some much needed attention. “Yes, I’m home.” “Good boy.” He said as he scratched behind Dog’s ears as the pup desperately tried to lick his face. He stood up with a huff and headed back down to his basement workshop. 

The fact that the tear was so ragged actually made the repair job easier. A clean slice was much more challenging to fix. He thought about how the opposite held true for human beings. A clean slice was easy to stitch up and would heal nicely. A ragged tear would be a challenge to close up and would heal into a very visible scar. There was some overlap between the skill set he used for work and his hobby but the differences were what made it so fulfilling. Work was all precision and speed, brutal and visceral destruction. Book binding also required precision but it allowed him to take something that was on the verge of destruction and pull it back from the brink -- restoring it lovingly and giving it life anew. It was slow, meditative work that was tactile and creative but in a very structured way. 

As he waited for the paste to dry he found his mind wandering again to the woman at the shop. How she had flown right under his radar? How had she made him feel so vulnerable without even realising it. What the hell was that about? He could barely admit to himself that something in his chest jumped when she smiled so warmly with excitement in her eyes over his hobby -- especially after he had been so rude earlier. That off balance feeling returned again and this time well fed and safely alone at home he realised he had felt it before. When he had met Helen. Fuck.

He threw himself into work for the next few weeks. Taking job after job hoping that the more time that passed since his visit there would mean he’d think about her less and would shake that feeling. It hadn’t worked. At night, when he was alone, his thoughts would drift to her and he’d feel ridiculous for it. He was a grown man not some heartsick teenage boy. He knew absolutely nothing about her aside from the fact that she owned a business. For all he knew she wasn’t even single. He hoped she was and at the same time desperately hoped she wasn’t. Especially since there was no getting out this time. That much had been made crystal clear to him and was part of the reason he had so many jobs. He had killed so many people in the weeks after Helen’s death that many of the best had been eliminated from the business. The high table was struggling to find good, qualified help so they eventually stopped sending people after him. He had single-handedly wiped out a generation of killers and not an insignificant number of their trainers either. 

John was sprawled on the couch with a book when Dog trotted into the room making some munching sounds. He was a good dog but he did love to chew the occasional thing when John had been away too long. A bit of bright green was poking out of Dog’s teeth. “Give!” John got up and pulled the now drool soaked paper from his mouth. “Where did you get this?” he wondered aloud as he pinched the slobbery little origami dog between his fingers. He threw it in the garbage and stood for a moment thinking about her. It’s time to put a stop to this nonsense he thought grabbing his car keys. Padding down into the basement he picked up the now fully restored book he had been working on when he’d met her and slid it into his leather bag.

The bells over the door jangled as he walked in and narrowly avoided tripping over a small dog that was wandering around near the door. “Gremlin, bed!” She said and pointed toward the counter. The little thing sauntered away from John slowly. “Sorry about that, vellum” she said with a smirk. “Gremlin over there is a cautionary tale on why you should name your pets carefully. He lives up to his name a little too much sometimes.” John shook his head a little and arched a brow. “Vellum?” He asked. “Yeah, you never introduced yourself when you were here last.” She said as a hint of pink spread across her cheeks. “John.” He said warmly and extended a hand. “Kristen” she said as she slid her hand into his for a shake. Her grip was firm, confident and that smile returned to her face. “So John, what do you need today?” She asked letting go of his hand. “Just you.” He thought, but it actually came out of his mouth instead. He froze realising what had happened. Kristen was taken aback at his directness. In the weeks since this handsome but brusque man came into her shop she found herself hoping he’d reappear, newly bound book in hand. She wasn’t prepared for this though. He cleared his throat. “What I meant was” he said slowly, staring down at her. “I was just about to leave and get a coffee. Would you like to join me?” She said cutting him off mid sentence while gracefully letting him off the hook at the same time. He was quiet for a moment, relaxing the death grip he had on the strap of his leather bag. She could have sworn she saw a slight blush ghost across his face. “Yeah, I’d like that.” He replied. Kristen turned and called out “Steph!” “Yeah?” Came a voice from somewhere at the back of the shop. Where’d they come from he wondered. He hadn’t even noticed that someone else was in there with them. “Steph, I’m going to take my break now ok? Be sure to keep an eye on Gremlin. He’s trying to trip people again.” A short dark haired and heavily tattooed 20 something popped into view. “You’re not taking him with -- oh.” She said when she looked up from the box she was carrying and saw John standing somewhat awkwardly by the counter. “Gotcha boss, take your time.” Steph said with an amused smirk. Grabbing her purse Kristen headed out the door with John. 

There was a small cafe a few doors down from the shop. Noticing a table was free Kristen gestured to it. “If you snag the table I’ll get our stuff, what would you like? They have really great scones here.” She offered. John held up his hands. “No. It’s on me. What’s your usual?” He countered with a smile. She shook her head slightly. “Fine, but only because we’re holding up the line.” She laughed. “I’ll have a coffee and a lemon poppy seed scone, please.” He smiled and headed off to put in their order as she laid claim to their table. 

He reappeared with both coffees and two scones balanced in his hands. “Show off.” She teased playfully as he set everything down. He just shrugged and smirked at her. Her hand brushed his as he passed her the coffee and Kristen’s heart sank when she caught sight of the wedding ring on his finger. She hadn’t noticed it before. Of course. She thought to herself. Of course he’s married. She felt incredibly foolish all of a sudden. She pointed at his scone “Goat cheese and chive?” John nodded. “I’m more of a sweet over savoury guy but this looked too good to pass up.” He said with a smile. “Are you a sweet guy though?” She asked him rather pointedly. “Depends on who you ask.” He said heavily, his smile vanishing from his face. She could see how hurt he looked but she continued anyway. “I mean, maybe I read this whole thing wrong and if so that’s on me but I’m 99% sure this is halfway to a date, yes?” John’s face clouded with confusion. “You’re not wrong.” He admitted staring into his coffee.  
He finally made eye contact with her and watched her grow irritated. “I don’t understand.” He said. “Listen John, people have different arrangements and that’s fine but I’m not interested.” She cast a pointed glare at his wedding ring and went to stand. Before she could he grabbed her hand quickly. “Please stay” he said quietly, almost shyly. “I’ll explain.” The amount of pain in his eyes was clear enough for her to see. Either this guy is a sociopath and is about to tell me some next level lies, she thought, or he’s been through some shit. She was hoping for the latter. “I’ll stay but I would like my hand back.” She shot him a hesitant smile. I’m really fucking this up he thought. He let go of her hand and took a long sip of his coffee. 

“I was married and those five years we had together were the happiest in my life. She meant absolutely everything to me. Everything.” He said quietly. He was talking so lowly that she could barely hear him over the din of the cafe so she leaned in closer, not wanting to interrupt him. John cleared his throat and looked up at her. “Helen died a year and a half ago.” Her name caught in his throat and he felt like someone had just landed a crushing blow against his sternum. “I’m still wearing my ring because I.” The pain in his eyes was almost unbearable to witness. Kristen felt relief followed immediately by a wave of guilt for it. She put her hand over his and gently ran her thumb across his knuckles. “I’m sorry for your loss John.” She said simply, not to cut him off but to make it clear she understood. He covered her hand with his and she smiled softly at him but didn’t move away. They sat like that for a few more moments until he chuckled softly. She eyed him curiously, not knowing how to respond. “If this is halfway to a date your scone choice is a bold one.” he said stealing a piece off of it and popping it into his mouth. “What’s bold about lemon popp--oh” she broke off and laughed. “After accusing you of being a philanderous scoundrel I think poppy seeds in my teeth are the least of my worries right now.” She grimaced. John laughed warmly at that. He leaned forward and grabbed her hand. “Never apologise for having boundaries. You look out for yourself. I respect that.” He said, squeezing her hand. She grinned broadly at him and her eyes crinkled softy at their edges, happiness illuminating her face. She was absolutely stunning. 

“I brought that book I bound -- if you’d like to see it.” He offered. Kristen checked her phone. “Oh shoot! It’s nearly closing time -- would you mind showing me at the shop?” She asked. “No, I don’t mind at all.” “After you.” He said. 

The bells jangled over the door as they walked in and Gremlin came scrambling over. John laughed as the tiny dog slid on the floor. “What is he?” He asked furrowing his brow. “He’s a chug.” “A what?” “A Chihuahua - Pug” You and Steph answered in unison. He smiled and shook his head. “I think my dog is at least 5 of Gremlin” “Oh! What kind of dog is it?” She practically cooed. “It’s a pit-bull, his name is...Dog.” John said with a laugh. Kristen grinned again. “They’re such sweethearts!” Steph cleared her throat “Well, I’m off! See you tomorrow, 10AM right?” “Yep! Thanks for your work today, I’ll see you tomorrow Steph.” Kristen said with a wave. 

John waited by the counter while Kristen flipped the sign and locked the door. He watched the way she moved across the shop. Her confident stride punctuated by the sway of her hips. She was much shorter than him and her dark jeans hugged her in a way that had John thinking about what it would feel like to wrap his hands around her waist and feel her soft skin under his fingers as he pulled her against him. Fuck. It had been a long time since he had felt this way about anyone. 

She appeared at his side with Gremlin not far behind. “Let’s go to my office -- I don’t want people to think the shop’s open.” She suggested. She grabbed his hand and lead him through the door at the back of the shop. They settled onto the small couch across from her desk. John carefully pulled his book from his bag and took out his phone to show her a couple of pre-restoration photos and explain his process. “Wow.” She marvelled. “May I?” She asked with her hands poised over the book. John smiled and nodded. She gently ran her hands over the oxblood leather, traced her fingers over the gold leafed vine pattern and then gently lifted the cover. The first page read ‘This book was bound by John Wick’. She smiled up at him and bumped his shoulder with hers. “This is so gorgeous John” “Thanks.” he replied sheepishly.  
He never knew what to do with the kind words of others. Even with Helen he always shrugged them off but now that she was gone and those kind words were absent from his life he realised how much he missed them. Kristen brought him back from his thoughts by reaching out and gently cupping his face with her hand. “Hey”, she said softly “Thank you for showing me your book.” The feel of his beard and his strong jaw underneath against her hand lit a fire inside her. She imagined him pressing his face into her neck, his hands lifting her up onto the counter and. Her daydream was interrupted by the feeling of his mouth gently pressing against hers. The distant but lusty look in her eyes hadn’t escaped his notice. He brought a hand up to her face and pulled her closer to him with the other. Their kisses were hesitant and slow at first -- almost as if they were waiting for the other to pull away. Neither one did and when John gently took Kristen's lower lip between his teeth she slid her arms around him tightly, opening her mouth and deepening their kiss. It was only when Gremlin growled that they parted and Kristen blushed deeply. “Sorry, Gremlin gets uh, overly protective sometimes.” She said with a tight smile. “He’s doing his job then.” He murmured before leaning in to kiss her on the forehead. He knew if he didn’t leave right that minute he wouldn’t leave at all. “I should go.” He whispered softly before kissing her again.  
Everything in his body was screaming STAY but he just couldn’t. Not yet. She nodded in reply. He took her hands in his and squeezed them. “I’m sorry. I’m just not--” He stammered until she cut him off “John, there’s nothing to be sorry for. I understand.” His eyes widened a little. How was this woman so generous and so clearly fine with making herself vulnerable? He wondered to himself. It pushed him to give it a shot. “I’d like to see you again.” He stated. If anyone else had said that Kristen would have thought they were blowing her off but something in his eyes told her that he was serious. “I’d like that John. Very much.” Her eyes crinkled softly at the corners as her mouth spread into another wide grin. They exchanged numbers and gathered up their things. She leashed up Gremlin and all three walked in comfortable silence as they left the shop. As she locked up outside John slid an arm around her waist and planted a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll text you.” He said with a grin. Kristen beamed back at him not quite believing the turn this day had taken. “You better!” She teased. “Thanks again for the coffee.” She leaned up and kissed him before turning and setting out with Gremlin, heading for home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff and smut ahoy!

I’d like to see you again. Free Sunday?

-Yes!   
-To both.   
-What time / where?

2PM at the park. Meet at the big gate. Bring Gremlin. 

-I can bring wine! And Gremlin. 

Perfect. Is there anything you don’t / can’t eat?

-I don’t like raw tomatoes.

WHAT? Date cancelled.  
Just kidding. See you Sunday at 2. 

-You jerk.   
-See you Sunday. Can’t wait!

John put down his phone and let out the breath he was holding with a low whistle. Her kindness and that kiss was all he could think about lately. He needed her even though he still wasn’t sure he was ready for whatever this was going to be. He sank back into the couch and Dog hopped up to join him, nuzzling his big grey face against his hand. “Good Dog.” He said quietly as he turned his attention back to his book.

\------

Kristen smiled widely as she tucked her phone into her back pocket. It didn’t escape Steph’s notice. “Lemme guess -- he asked you out FINALLY?!?” She shot Steph a steely look but the blush that had crept up her face gave it away. “Yes, he did.” She bit her lip as she considered how many details to give away. “We’re going to the park Sunday.” She grinned. “I was going to say something snarky but you know what, that’s lowkey romantic.” Steph added. Kristen just shook her head a little and turned back to the order she was putting together. She was excited but also really nervous. It had been a while since she’d been out with anyone she actually liked this much. 

\----------

John’s heart lurched a little at the sight of Kristen walking towards him with Gremlin in tow. God, she looked stunning he thought to himself as he admired her long hair swept up into a high ponytail and her floral patterned sundress. Her smile caused his heart to lurch in his chest. He grinned back at her and Dog walked over to cautiously sniff at Gremlin. The two seemed to decide that they were ok with each other which was a relief. “You look beautiful.” John said before leaning in to kiss her cheek. “Thank you. You’re not so bad yourself John.” She said with a laugh. They headed deeper into the park and found a spot in the shade that was -- much to John’s delight -- away from people. He knew he was going to have to explain some difficult things about his life and he didn’t want an audience. 

Kristen spread out the large blanket she had brought along and they all settled down onto it. John winced as he lowered himself to the ground cautiously. Kristen eyed him as she filled two glasses with wine and handed one to John. “Is turkey, brie and apple on a croissant ok with you?” He asked as he handed her a wrapped package. She laughed warmly. “That’s one of my favourites actually!” She said as she took it and started to unwrap it. John took off his sunglasses and the concerned look that crossed her face when her eyes landed on the fresh cuts around his right eye didn’t escape his notice. 

He took a long sip of his drink waiting for the question he was dreading. “Are you okay John? You’re hurt. What happened to you?” She asked and the concern was heavy in her voice. His heart sank. “I.” He swallowed heavily and took another gulp of wine. “It happened at work. Kristen, I have feelings for you and because of that I need to be completely honest with you. About what I do.” He could see the alarm rising in her eyes so he reached out and gently took her hand in his. 

Everything had come spilling out. About his job, his retirement, her death, everything. She sat quietly and squeezed his hand when she could see he was feeling overwhelmed. When he finished she covered his hand with hers. She had an unreadable look on her face. “I understand completely if you never want to see me again.” He said quietly but the resignation in his voice that told her he meant it. She felt dizzy. She closed her eyes for a moment and pulled in a long, slow breath. Opening her eyes again she exhaled slowly. “John, I need a moment -- I will be back” She squeezed his hand and stood up shakily. “Ok.” He agreed. “Gremlin, stay.” She commanded as she turned and walked away. He pulled gremlin onto his lap and pet him gently not wanting the tiny spark of hope he felt to be extinguished.

She wasn’t sure where she was going she just needed some time to herself to process everything she’d heard. He kills people. For a living. She had sensed that there was something different about John but she wasn’t prepared for this. She was completely taken aback at how little this information dampened her feelings for him. Spotting a washroom she headed towards it and stepped into the small stone building where she stood in front of the clouded, old mirror staring hard at herself. It dawned on her that he was giving her a way out of all of this -- before either one of them was in too deep to make hard choices. He didn’t plead or beg or make excuses. He laid everything out for her allowing her to make her own choice, to decide if she had a place for a man like him in her life. That was rare. She’d never run across a man who gave enough of a shit about her life to consider if he belonged there in the first place. Kristen gripped the counter tightly and made up her mind.

Gremlin was still on his lap when she walked back to him. She sat down and patted Dogs big sleepy face before leaning against John. He refilled their glasses. She lifted hers in a toast and clinked it against his. “To us.” She stated. His mouth dropped open a little. “After all of that, there’s an us?” He questioned with wide eyes. “If you’re ready for that, yes.” She looked up at him expectantly. They both took a drink before he covered her mouth with his. She wound her fingers into his hair and explored his mouth with her tongue. He gently put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her away and searched her face for a moment before asking “You’re certain?” She held his face in her hand running her thumb across his cheek as she spoke. “You’ve been honest with me from the beginning. This is the kind of life that most people would hide -- or at least try to and then months or years later it would blow up spectacularly. Am I a little scared? Yes. Of you? Not really. I know if I have questions I can ask and you’ll answer truthfully. That’s what I care about.” She said softly. 

Gremlin hopped off Johns lap and curled up beside Dog. John watched as she smiled softly at the two dogs and he pulled her in closer against him. He laid his head against hers and closed his eyes feeling content for the first time in what felt like years. She smelled like shampoo and something darker, spicier. He swallowed heavily as she slid her hand up his thigh and then slipped her hand up under his shirt resting on his lower back. “Do you want to come to my place?” Her voice was low and even. His eyes snapped open and the sight of her perched next to him with her lower lip caught between her teeth while the soft warmth of her hand was pressed against his skin was enough to erase any hesitation. “Yeah.” He nodded and stood up startling the dogs from their cozy nap. “Easy, boys.” He said with a laugh as they gathered up their stuff. 

Kristen let out a low whistle when they got to John’s Mustang. “Now I see why you were so pissed. She’s a beauty. I’m glad you got her up and running again.” John just smiled and lifted a brow. She lightly ran her hand along the roof line. “Now let’s see if you can make her purr.” He laughed aloud at that. “Are you talking about you or the car?” She shrugged and tilted her head to the side with a smirk and trailed her hand down his chest. He captured her hand and held it against him. He leaned in close, brushed an errant strand of her hair behind her ear and growled “I can do both.” 

They pulled up in front of her house. It was a semi-detached Victorian with a second floor turret and gingerbread wood trim. Making their way up onto the porch she invited him in as Gremlin bounced around impatiently at her feet. Dog was standing calmly beside John wagging his tail.  
The narrow hardwood floors showed their age but were well cared for. He instantly felt at ease here. Gremlin and dog scampered off leaving the two of them alone in the entryway. Leaning down he pulled her in close to him. She buried her face in his chest for a moment before smiling up at him. “Would you like the grand tour? It’s a work in progress so some rooms aren’t in the best of shape. With the shop sometimes I don’t have the energy to tackle things when I get home.” “Wait. You’re restoring this place on your own?” “Mostly, yeah. I call in trades for things I can’t do myself -- but everything else I do. I like the challenge and it feels like I’m taking care of something. It sounds silly but I like to think it makes the house happy.” She blushed and looked away from him. “Come on, I’ll show you around.” She laughed and pulled him by the hand. “It’s not silly you know. That’s how I feel when I work on books. Productive. Like I’m part of something outside of myself.” He said quietly. Her eyes sparkled as she beamed at him. That smile will be my undoing he thought to himself. She lightly pushed against his chest. “Exactly! Would you like something to drink? I have more wine if you’d like.” “Yeah, why not.” She poured them each a glass and continued the house tour. He was awestruck at how much work she’d put into the place. Even in the spaces that were in progress her sense of style was so strong he could see what they would look like when done. 

“And this -- is my bedroom.” It was the turret room. The walls were a deep shade of teal that contrasted against the soft white trim. It was flooded by natural light. A reading nook was set up in the rounded part of the turret and the room was anchored by a king sized bed covered with soft grey linens and a pile of pillows. She laced her fingers into his and stood up on her tip-toes to kiss him. He unwound his fingers from hers and wrapped his arm around her waist planting his hand firmly against her lower back. He leaned down and buried his face in her neck, kissing gently upwards until he reached her ear. “You’re incredible.” He murmured. His breath was warm and she savoured the feeling of his beard against her soft skin. She laughed and flushed again. He pulled back from her and took her face in his hand. “No, Kristen I mean it. I’ve never met anyone like you before.” “I can same the same for you John.” She replied before leaning up to kiss him again. 

He took her glass from her and set them down on the nightstand before backing her up against the bed. Taking her face in his hand again he captured her mouth with his in a heated kiss. Her hands gripped his back tightly and she could feel him becoming hard against her. She moaned against his mouth when his hand slid from her face to lightly cup her breast. They broke apart for air and she leaned her forehead against his chest. She fit so perfectly against him. “I want you.” He slid his thumb over her nipple through the soft fabric of her sundress. “I want you too.” She said with a mischievous grin as she reached out and started to unbutton his shirt with unsteady hands. He covered her hands with his and squeezed them. “It’s not too fast?” “I’m just nervous, it’s uh. Been a while.” She bit her lip as he nodded at her. He finished unbuttoning his shirt and shrugged it off his shoulders. 

She gasped a little when she caught sight of the yellow and green bruises on his ribs. She ran her fingers lightly over his many raised scars. He grimaced slightly at the sound of her gasp. “Even if I hadn’t been honest with you, how would I explain the way I look.” She tilted her head to the side and thought for a moment. “Bouncer. Or stuntman?” He laughed. “Shit. That’s pretty good.” She unbuckled his belt and he slid his jeans down, stepping out of them. He gathered up the fabric of her dress under his fingers and lifted it up and over her head. He gently eased her back onto the bed and she slid over onto her side. He settled himself next to her pulling her leg up over his hip, giving him better access to her. They were both breathing hard as they explored each other with their hands. Trading kisses and moans in equal measure. He rolled her onto her back and trailed his large hand down her stomach leaning down and kissing her deeply while he slid his fingers under the lace of her underwear. He swore softly when his fingers dipped into the wetness he found pooled there. She bit her lip and arched her hips up against him in encouragement. John got off the bed and grabbed her by the ankles tugging her down to where he was now kneeling on the floor. He licked his lips as he tugged her underwear off of her and hooked her leg over his shoulder. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” Her breath caught in her throat as she felt his tongue against her eagerly lapping at her while he moaned appreciatively against her pussy. She tangled her fingers tightly into his hair and couldn’t stop herself from grinding against his face. He snaked an arm across her and held her down murmuring “Easy, girl.” Before he went back to work sucking at her clit. She was moaning loudly now and he couldn’t help but smirk as he continued to eat her with an enthusiasm she’d never experienced from any other man. She gasped deeply and yanked his hair as he slid a thick finger inside her. “Oh FUCK!” She yelped as he curled it hitting against her g-spot. He could feel that she was close. She was clawing at him and whimpering unabashedly. He watched her face as he added a second finger. Her eyes shot open and were wild, a scarlet flush creeping all the way down her chest. 

He couldn’t wait any longer. He got up from the floor with a groan and slid off his boxer briefs. She sat up looking dazed and pulled her hair out of its ponytail so it cascaded down around her. She licked her lips, ruby red and swollen from their earlier kisses and she leaned in and delicately took him into her mouth. His groan echoed in the room and his head dropped back as she licked and sucked at him before eventually taking as much of his length as she could. She grasped onto his hips and moaned sending vibrations through his cock. She pulled him out of her mouth before taking a deep breath and slowly burying her face all the way to his pubic bone. She looked up at him and he felt like he was going to drop to the floor. She slid him out of her mouth and smiled. She leaned away and rummaged through her nightstand drawer before pulling out a condom. He carefully tore open the golden wrapper and rolled it onto himself. 

She scooted back into the middle of the bed and he crawled over top of her positioning himself between her legs while she reached between them and helped guide him in. They moaned in unison as they got accustomed to the feeling of each other. He rocked slowly into her at first not wanting to hurt her. She sensed he was worried but she was so wet and ready that he didn’t need to be. She tightly wrapped her legs around him and dug her nails into his back while rocking harder against him. He leaned his face down against hers as he thrust harder into her kissing her sloppily. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer. It had been a long time since he’d been with anyone and he felt so good -- so right -- inside her. He watched with wide eyes as she sucked her fingers into her mouth and brought them down to rub circles on her clit. The sight of her touching herself as he fucked her was too much for him. His thrusts became erratic as he tried to hold on but as she moaned and clenched tighter around him he came with one last deep stroke into her. She arched up against him as she rode out her own orgasm and there was a sudden burst of warmth that rushed over him as she let out a strangled moan. He collapsed gently on top of her making sure to not crush her and they stayed that way until their breathing returned to normal. He rubbed soft circles across her skin with his fingers as she combed her fingers through his hair. She broke the comfortable silence they had fallen into. “Holy shit that was satisfying.” He turned and gazed up at her with a smile. “You taste so good.” “Are you hungry, John?” His mouth dropped open a little and he lifted a brow. He wasn’t quite sure where she was going with this. “I’ll make us dinner.” She said with a laugh. “Wait, what did you think I meant?” “I’d like dinner. I’ll make sure to save room for dessert too.” He said with a wink before he cut off her laughter with a kiss.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a tropey sickfic! John & Kristen get to know each other better.

“Do you like pesto?”  
His eyes lit up. “What kind?”   
“Honestly? Usually jarred basil but since you’re here and I offered to make dinner...I’ll do it from scratch. Can you cut a big bunch of basil for me? It’s in the planter on the back deck.”  
He nodded and took the scissors she handed him, stealing a quick kiss. Gremlin danced around at her feet as she pulled the hunk of Parmesan out of the fridge. “Fine. Cheese for the cheese god!” She said as she held the cheese aloft before she tossed a tiny bit onto the floor. Gremlin snatched it up so quickly he didn’t realise he’d eaten it. John just stood back and laughed at the scene in front of him. “You offer him sacrifices? No wonder he’s such a menace.” He said, leaning against the kitchen island and setting down the scissors. Kristen laughed and nodded in agreement. “Can dog have some? I wouldn’t want him to feel left out.” “Sure.” He said. Dog’s ears perked up and he wandered over at the sound of his name. He gently took the small piece of cheese from Kristen's hand. “Oh buddy. You’re such a sweetheart.” She said softly to him as she pet his velvety ears. 

John washed the basil in the sink and inhaled the fresh and bright scent. God he missed this. He missed the little domestic things. I think she’d like Kristen. That last thought made his heart ache and his breath catch in his throat. “I think it’s clean now. Hey, John!” He startled when he felt her hand on his back. “You ok?” She said hesitantly. “Yeah.” He said his mouth curling upward into a small smile. She kissed his cheek and snatched the basil from him. “I can set out a bowl for Dog if he’s ok to eat what I give Gremlin.” She said as she made her way over to the food processor. “Yes, thank you. I’m sure he’ll be happy about that.” Her thoughtfulness and warmth helped ease the ache in his chest. 

Between bites of pasta they got to know each other. Trading likes and dislikes and facts as if it was precious currency between them. “Beatles or the Stones?” He asked. “The Kinks.” She said with a smirk. “Oh, you’re that kind of person.” He said with a sharp laugh as he tipped his glass at her. “You?” She asked “The Stones.” She chewed her pasta for a moment and considered. “Really. I woulda pegged you as a Beatles guy.” “I mean. Yeah. They’re great but if I have to choose…” He said with a knowing smile. “Favourite rom-com, if you have one” She said leaning forward in her seat and raising an eyebrow. “Moonstruck.” He said confidently, setting down his glass. “Oh damn! That’s a good one.” He watched her expression shift from shock to delight. He loved how she had no poker face. Every thought, every feeling was expressed by her face, her body. He wondered what it would be like to be so unguarded. In his line of work that would be a liability. “What’s yours?” Kristen laughed. “What?” John said, his voice low and a smirk on his lips. He sat back and folded his arms across his chest. “This whole thing is just... funny. Here we are in my house eating dinner and getting to know each other. We’ve kinda done everything backwards don’t you think?” John shrugged his shoulders and leaned forward, taking her hand across the table. “I really like you Kristen.” He said simply as he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. His eyes were filled with a warmth and affection that made him look so much younger. She covered his hand with her much smaller one and leaned in. Lowering her voice as if she was about to reveal a deep, dark, secret. “I like you too, John.” 

In his feverish state he kept turning their first date over and over in his mind. He was laying in bed willing himself to feel fine enough to take her out tonight. They’d been seeing each other for a couple of months now but John still hadn’t invited Kristen over to his house. She joked that it was because that’s where he hid all the bodies and he humoured her, but in truth it was because his place felt empty. Not like a home at all. Just a place to sleep and recover from whatever he’d gotten himself into last. After everything that had happened with his home with Helen he couldn’t bring himself to make the effort with this new one. It was something he had a lot of time to consider since he’d come down with whatever this was. His eyes felt hot and no matter how many blankets he had on he just couldn’t get warm. He could feel every old injury, everything ached. “Fuck. I’ll have to call off our date.” He huffed and Dog looked over at him from his spot on the bed. 

I really want to see you tonight but I’m sick.   
Can we reschedule? I’m sorry babe.  
-I’m calling you!

“Hey, sweetheart.” His voice was barely a whisper. “Jesus John, you sound really bad.”   
“Thanks?” He attempted to laugh but it devolved into a coughing fit.   
“I’m coming over. What’s your address?”  
“No I’m--”  
“Listen it’s not up for debate. Address. Now.” She jotted it down on her notepad. He lived just on the outskirts of the city, right by the lake. “I’ll see you in a little while ok? Please call me if you feel any worse. Promise?” “Yes ma’am.” He croaked out. 

“Steph? I’m calling it early today. John’s really sick and it’s only half hour til close anyway so it’s your lucky day.” Steph lifted an eyebrow in amusement. “Closing early? For a man? You must really like this guy.” Kristen pursed her lips in mock disapproval before a shy smile appeared on her face. “I really do. Now go home! I’ll still pay you the difference.” “Niceee!” “You’re right, I am.”

I guess I know who lives in this place now. She thought to herself as she pulled down the driveway of the gorgeous modern house. 

-I’m here!  
I’ll let you in. May take a min.

Kristen leashed up Gremlin and hauled the groceries out of the trunk. John was just opening the door as she got to the front steps. To say he looked dishevelled would be kind. He was clammy, his normally well groomed hair sticking up at all angles and he had almost no colour to his face. “Don’t worry I feel worse than I look.” He said with a small chuckle that turned into a coughing fit. He reached for the bags but she handed him Gremlin’s leash instead. “I’ve got em John. I’m here to take care of you, remember?” “You didn’t have to do all this.” “I know. I wanted to. Let’s get you back to bed.” “Alright.” He said with a tight smile. She wound her arm around his waist and followed him to his bedroom. It was sparsely decorated, painted white with a king size bed that faced the floor to ceiling windows that overlooked the lake.   
“Are you tucking me in?” He asked as she pulled the blankets up around him and smoothed her hand over his clammy brow. “You’ve got quite a fever. I’ll be right back.” He sank back against the pillows. He closed his eyes and startled when he felt her gently lay a cool washcloth over his forehead. “That feels so good.” He murmured as she smoothed her hand over his hair. “Get some sleep if you can. I’ll make some soup and look after dog.” He nodded. “Thank you.” Kristen leaned down and kissed him softly on the cheek before shutting the door quietly behind her.

Nothing is more disorienting than trying to cook in someone else’s kitchen. She thought to herself as she got to work on the soup for John. “I’m so glad I came over, Dog. You’re very sweet but no thumbs means you can’t do much for him.” She eyed the contents of the fridge. It was fairly empty. Some craft beer, cheese. Random condiments. Leftovers that looked like they were once pretty tasty. “At least I know he can cook for himself.” She got to work on the soup. It was her favourite quick and dirty chicken noodle. Briefly sauteed veggies, boiling water, bay leaves, chicken breasts and then a couple of stock cubes. When the chicken had cooked through she pulled it out and cut it into bite size pieces before adding it back into the soup. While she was waiting for the noodles to finish she fed Gremlin and Dog. She pulled out her phone and snapped a pic of them eating happily, side by side. 

After an hour Kristen quietly slipped into John’s room. He was sleeping on his back, his arms up over his head against his pillow, his face flushed from the fever. She felt a tug in her chest. God it was way too soon for this but she was starting to feel like she could love this man. She sat on the edge of the bed and whispered “John.” His breathing changed but he didn’t wake up. She gently laid the back of her hand on his forehead. Flipping her hand over she smoothed it over his hair. “John, sweetheart, do you want some soup?” He stirred, the corners of his lips turning upward in a sleepy smile. Without opening his eyes he pressed his hot face into her hand. “Helen.”

A surprised “Oh” was all Kristen could manage to get out. His eyes opened and she could see the confusion in them and then something else. Pain. John felt an ocean of grief overwhelm him. He was dreaming when he heard his name and for a brief moment she was here again. His wife. Except she wasn’t. He covered his face with his hands. Kristen just sat quietly next to him on the bed. “I’m so sorry.” He rasped. He curled up around her, laying his head in her lap. “I thought you were her.” He barely got the words out before his shoulders started shaking. Pretty soon he was overcome by wracking sobs. “I know John, I know.” She said softly as she wrapped her arm around his shoulder and cradled his head in her lap. She held him, quietly stroking his hair until he calmed down. Trying to best to keep herself together. Once he was quiet again she leaned down and kissed his temple. “When was the last time you ate something sweetheart?” “I can’t remember.” He turned his puffy and tear streaked face to look at her. He looked shattered. And vulnerable. “Do you think you can stand or would you like me to bring you a bowl of soup?” “I’ll get up.” “Just take it slow, ok?” He nodded and slowly shifted off of her and into a seated position. He covered his face with his hands and took an unsteady breath, resting his elbows against his thighs. She leaned her head on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry Kristen. I. I’m a fucking mess.” “I know.” “What?” He turned and looked at her with surprise. She frowned. “That came out wrong. I meant I get it. First of all, your brain is cooking right now and you haven’t eaten since god knows when.” She took a deep breath. “And you don’t need to apologise. You had a life together and you loved each other. I’m not jealous of or hurt by that John.” He sat up and wrapped his arms around her. “God, you’re an incredible woman. I hope you know that.” “I do.” She laughed a little and got up, tugging him by the hand. “Come on big boy. Let’s eat.”

“Mmm this is so good I might start crying again.” Kristen rolled her eyes. “No, John. Crying because something is delicious is my thing and you can’t have it. But, I’ll take the compliment all the same.” She shot him warm grin and traced her fingers over his upturned palm. “Well, I’ll save the waterworks for the next time you make pesto again.” He smiled and curled his fingers against hers. His smile faded. “Today was the first time I ever had someone to.” He shifted in his seat and fixed his gaze on their entwined fingers. “Comfort me like that. I’m really sorry that I hadn’t invited you here yet. You’ve been here for all of a few hours and suddenly it feels like a real home.” He looked up at her. His face still flushed but his eyes filled with gratitude and something else. What it was Kristen couldn’t say but she hoped it was what she thought it was.


	4. Chapter 4

“Hmm. I’m really not sure! I’m leaning towards the textured blush paper with gold envelopes but I---I really don’t know.” The indecisive bride-to-be ran her hands over the paper options laid out before her on the large wooden table. She fixed her eyes on Kristen with a look that spoke volumes of just how overwhelmed she was. “What do you think?” She asked hesitantly. Kristen smiled warmly and set down her pen. “Personally, I really like the combination of the sage green envelope lined with gold and the blush pink paper for the card. It works all of your colours into it and I think it will look soft and elegant---but it’s really all up to you. Trust your taste!” The woman across from her lit up with excitement. “Oh my gosh! I love that idea SO MUCH! Yes. You know what? Let’s do that.” She said. “Ok, sage green, gold and pink it is! I’ll need a list of full names and addresses to do the hand lettering---as soon as you can get them to me.” Kristen said. “Of course! We just finalized the guestlist so I can have that to you by the end of the week.” She let out a sigh and visibly relaxed. “Thank you so much for everything Kristen. You’re a dream to work with!” 

Kristen smiled widely and gathered up the requested items and tucked them into a thin box. “That’s so kind. I’m happy to be a small part of your big day.” She said. “We just got in some really gorgeous planners if you need one to keep track of everything.” She said as she gestured to the display at the front of the shop. “Actually, I could use one---planning this wedding is a beast of a task. I mean, I’m excited and all---but it’s a lot!” Kristen smiled knowingly. “It is---but you’ll get it done. Just make sure to take some time to yourselves and recharge too. Thanks again for trusting me with your invites. If you have any questions about planners Steph can help you.” Kristen said, gesturing towards Steph behind the counter before heading to her office. She loved these client meetings but always needed a few moments to herself afterwards. Weddings were the bread and butter of her business---so she always put so much pressure on herself. She sank into her office chair and sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. 

The gentle knock on the door startled her. “Boss?” Steph asked as she peeked into the office. “Someone is asking about a supply order.” “Oh. Thanks Steph. I’ll be right there.” Kristen sighed again and stood up. Drumming her fingertips on the smooth surface of her desk. Collecting her thoughts. She checked her appearance in the mirror by the door and tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear before striding to the shop counter. “Hello madam. You must be Kristen, yes?” She was taken aback at the formality of the persons speech. “Yes, that’s me. How can I help you?” “Pleased to meet you Kristen, I’m James. I’ve been sent on behalf of my employer---we’re looking for a supplier of fine paper goods for our boutique hotel.” “You’d be my first corporate client---I’ve never done wholesale before.” “We’ve heard good things about you---and we always deal locally when we can.” He said. “Well, shall we get started?” She asked. “Yes, please. Thank you for accommodating me, it’s most appreciated---and apologies for not setting up an advance appointment.” “There’s no need for apologies.” She said with a warm smile. “So you’re a new boutique hotel in town?” “We’ve been in Buffalo for a long time but the city has changed so much. We feel it’s the right time to reopen.” James said. “We do value discretion. The plans haven’t been announced yet.” He added pointedly. “Understood.” She said with a sly smile. “Your secret is safe with me.” They worked together to put together the initial order for the hotel. Planners, stationary, pens, pencils. Plain black leather bound notebooks. “Do you need the name of a printer to have the items branded with your logo? I have a great one I work with.” “No, thank you. We like to keep things very minimal. Exclusive.” He said. That struck Kristen as odd. What kind of hotel didn’t want or need branded stationary? It must be a very expensive hotel---but in Buffalo? How would that work out she wondered. They worked together efficiently to get everything sorted. James followed her to the register. “Do you accept coin or shall I pay by card?” “Coin?” She asked with a small polite laugh. James immediately brought out his black company card and left the gold coins in his pocket. “Card is fine.” She said as she rang up the order. “Here’s my business card. Please do call when everything arrives. It’s been a real pleasure, Kristen.” “Likewise. Thank you for coming in. I’ll be in touch when everything is ready.” She said, taking his very elegant business card from him. “Have a pleasant evening.” He said as he left the store. “You too.” She called out distractedly as she examined the exquisitely designed business card. The Continental. Buffalo, New York. It read in elegant gold script. She recognized the address. It was a beautiful old building downtown. It had been empty for decades and she always hoped it would be saved from the wrecking ball. “What what that guy’s deal?” Steph asked loudly, causing Kristen to jump. She looked out the door and then at Steph with a puzzled look on her face. “I honestly have no idea. He was kind of...odd. Wasn’t he?” Steph laughed. “He’s definitely not from here. I know that for sure. He seemed, British?” Kristen hummed in agreement.   
\-----------------------------------------------------  
John was at the kitchen island with the crossword and a cup of coffee, his pen in hand, brows furrowed, when she came in with the groceries. Kristen put the bags down in front of the fridge before she wrapped her arms around his waist and placed a kiss on his temple. “Crossword, huh?” She said as she peered over his shoulder. “Mmm.” “You know I have many comfortable chairs to sit on, right?” She said with a laugh. He turned to meet her eyes and smirked. “I like your kitchen. It’s comfortable. It’s better with you here, though.” Kristen’s face scrunched up as a blush crept across her cheeks. “You absolute sap.” She said as she swatted his shoulder playfully. He smiled and shrugged. “Oh---I read that there’s a meteor shower tonight. I was thinking we could drive out somewhere near my place and see what we can spot?” He said. She smiled and shook her head. 

It was one of those moments where what he had done for a living and who he really was stood in such contrast that she couldn’t help but laugh. “What?” He asked as he bumped his shoulder against hers. “You got a date idea from an actual newspaper. It's funny---and very sweet and sounds like fun.” She playfully pushed him off of her and crossed her arms. A small smirk on her lips. “Yeah, yeah I’m an old man.” He said with a laugh as Kristen turned and started putting the groceries away. “I’d help you but -- my aching bones and all.” He shot her a pointed look before he turned back to the crossword with a huge grin on his face. 

He lasted all of 30 seconds before he was at her side helping put things away. “How did your bridal consult go?” He asked, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in against his chest. She felt herself relax, letting go of tension she didn’t even know she was carrying. “It went really well.” She said. “No bridezilla action? I don’t have to get involved?” He teased. “No, she was great actually---just the usual deer-in-the-headlights look that most people who plan their own wedding have.” He squeezed her a bit tighter in his arms and kissed her forehead. He thought about his own wedding. It seemed so long ago now but not nearly long enough to stop his heart from feeling that familiar tug of grief. The edges of it had dulled a bit---and even more since he’d finally been able to open up to Kristen about it. His very next thought was of her. What she’d look like walking towards him. Toward a life together. “John, you’re squishing me.” She said, snapping him out of his thoughts. He loosed his grip on her and ran his hands down her arms. Taking her hands in his. “I’m in love with you, Kristen.” He said quietly. Almost to himself. “I love you.” He said loudly, his eyes filled with warmth and hope as he gazed down at her, a smile playing on the edges of his lips. Her breath hitched in her throat. John watched her expression carefully. Taking in how her lips parted and her eyes went wide as she registered what he’d said. She squeezed his hands tightly. “I love you too. So much.” She looked radiant. Her smile crinkling the corners of her eyes softly. He leaned down and kissed her, one hand splayed on her lower back as he slid the other into her hair. He leaned back against the kitchen island and pulled her tighter against him. He hadn’t meant to blurt out his feelings for her like this---but it felt right. This moment. In her kitchen. She was his home---and maybe he could be hers.   
\--------------------------------------  
They leaned back against the bumper of the car, watching the meteors track across the sky. Steam rose from their thermoses of hot chocolate, dissipating into the cold autumn night as Dog and Gremlin sat at their feet. They’d become fast friends---much to the relief and delight of John and Kristen. Dog never minded when Gremlin would lean on or even sleep on him. He’d give the occasional sigh of resignation and that would be it. “It’s beautiful out here. How’d you find this place?” She asked. John shifted and pulled her in closer to his side. “When I first moved here I was alone a lot. Restless. I think I took Dog to every park, every hiking trail all around the area.” He said. “Oh! That reminds me---there may be a new place we can explore together soon.” She said. “Where’s that?” He asked before taking a sip of his drink and staring up into the sky. “A new boutique hotel is opening up---or supposedly, reopening downtown. They came to my shop for a huge stationary supply order---but here’s the thing, the guy was really kind of weird. So...formal? I’m not sure how well it’s going to go over here.” “You said reopening?” John asked. Dread crystallising in the pit of his stomach. “Steph thought it was weird too. I mean, he asked if he could pay by coin or card. What a dad joke.” She said. “What did you just say?” He asked. Kristen noticed that John’s whole demeanour had suddenly changed. “Coin or card.” She repeated. John pulled away from her. “It wasn’t a joke, Kristen.” John said harshly. “Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner. You have NO IDEA what you’ve gotten yourself into.” “John---I was about to tell you when I got home but then the conversation we were having seemed more important. Kristen, I love you. That’s nice but this weird guy came into the shop today. Would have been better for you?” She said, throwing her hands up, her lips drawn into a hard line. John exhaled and shut his eyes, taking a minute to calm down. “No, you’re right. You had no idea that this meant anything and I’m sorry. Did he tell you what the name of the hotel was?” He asked. “Shit, I think it started with a C. The Centennial? No. That’s not right.” She said. “The Continental?” John asked flatly. “Yeah, that’s it. How did you know?” “It means they know about us.” “Who’s they?” She asked “The High Table. The people I used to...work for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what you're thinking but:
> 
> 1) It has an international airport  
> 2) It's right on the boarder of Canada  
> 3) It used to be one of the biggest cities in America. 
> 
> Just go with it. ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an angsty one.
> 
> CW for talk of domestic violence so be mindful of that. None actually takes place -- it's mentioned in a medical setting.

Kristen gasped. Her hands shook violently and John reached over and gently took her thermos from her. He wrapped his arm around her---or tried to but she pushed him away. “You mean to tell me. You just got upset with me for not telling you my business---the place my whole life revolves around, is newly in business with organized crime. How dare you. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU.” She got up and grabbed Gremlins leash and started walking into the night. She was furious and terrified in equal measure. They were a long way from anywhere but she felt compelled to move. It was dark and in her rush she didn’t notice the pothole. She felt sick when her ligaments stretched as her foot rolled and she pitched forward. She threw her hands out in front of her to break her fall. Her palms and knees burning as they skidded across the rough pavement. Gremlin, forever oblivious, meandered at the end of his leash wondering why they’d stopped moving. Gravel scraped underfoot and familiar, warm hands grabbed her shoulders. “Don’t! Just, don’t.” She said coldly as she jerked her shoulders away from his touch. John relented and let go. He sat beside her on the pavement instead. “You’re hurt. I saw how hard you fell.” He said quietly. 

She tried and failed to get to her feet. Pain radiated from her ankle as soon as she tried to put weight on it. She shifted from her hands and knees and very carefully sat next to John. Gremlin sat beside her. She stared at the bloody mess of her hands, the ripped knees of her jeans. “I’m pretty sure it’s sprained. I’ve done it before. Same ankle.” She caught the nod of his head from the corner of her eye. She was too angry, too hurt to look at him. “I’m sorry. I had no right to lash out at you like that. No right at all.” For the first time since she’d left his side she turned to look at him. John noticed how her eyes were bright with pain. “Please get me home. That’s all I care about right now. I want to go home.” She curled her injured hands toward her chest and leaned her head against John’s shoulder. “I’m going to carry you to the car ok? Once we get there I’ll open the door and help you in.” “Ok.” 

He carefully took Gremlin’s leash off her wrist, making sure to avoid her injured palms. “I’m going to pull you up into a standing position, then I’m going to pick you up.” He said everything matter of factly, giving her a chance to object before he’d move or touch her. It brought her comfort, in an odd way---it cut through her anger, her fear. “Alright, here we go.” He said as he gently got her into a one-legged standing position and then scooped her into his arms bridal style. Kristen closed her eyes and leaned her head on his shoulder. She heard the skittering of Gremlin’s paws over the blacktop and the louder footfalls of John’s feet. His steady breathing not showing any signs that carrying her was an effort. Silent tears were making their way down her face and onto his shirt. He stopped moving and pressed his cheek to the top of her head. “We’re at the car. I’ll put you down and you can lean against the car and then I’ll help you get in, alright? I just have to open the door and slide the seat back so you have room for your leg to be up.” He gently eased her down and helped her lean against the car. He slid the seat into position and folded their blanket to make a footrest for her injured ankle in the footwell of the passenger seat. As soon as she was safely in the car John shepherded Dog and Gremlin into the back seat and made sure they had everything before they drove off. 

Kristen broke into loud, wracking sobs as soon as they were in motion. Her ankle hurt badly but not as much as her torn up hands and knees. They burned intensely and that combined with her ankle and the panic over what John had revealed was overwhelming. Gremlin was whimpering in the back seat and Dog was unsettled too. When her sobs became shuddering gasps John pulled the car over. He gently placed a hand on her shoulder and one hand on her thigh. “I really need you to take some slow, deep breaths. Can you do that for me?” She shook her head no frantically. “You can.” He encouraged softly as he rubbed his hand across her back. “I” She gasped. “I, ok.” She managed to get out before she took a slow and shaky inhale followed by a shuddering exhale. “That was good. Let’s go for another.” This time there was less shaking to her breathing. He kept encouraging her until she was breathing normally again. 

She leaned back against the car seat and rolled her head to the side. Glancing at John for the first time since he’d gotten her into the car. He could barely hear her over the rumble of the engine. “Please, don’t leave me alone tonight.” She said softly as another tear slipped from the corner of her eye. John traced his thumb along her cheekbone, leaned in close and gently kissed her forehead. “I’m not going anywhere. We’ll drop the dogs at home and then I’m taking you to get checked over. Everything will be ok, Kristen. I promise.” He said. “Ok.” She whispered.  
\------------------------------------------------------------  
“Sir, can I ask you to step out for a moment? I’ll let you know when you can come back in.”  
John nodded. “Of course.”   
“How did this happen again?” The doctor asked once John had stepped out of the room.  
“It was dark at the park and I stepped into a pothole and went flying. We were watching the meteor shower tonight.”  
“You know whatever you say here is confidential and that you’re safe.”  
“I know---and really, that’s what happened. I understand what you’re getting at and really, it’s a comforting thing to know you ask these questions---but really, I’m safe and he had nothing to do with my injuries.” She said, the paper of the exam table crinkling underneath her as she shifted.  
“Alright, I always ask -- and let people know we’re here to help.” The doctor cleared their throat. “When was your last tetanus shot?”   
“Umm. I have no idea to be honest.” She said.  
“Here’s the plan, we’ll wrap up your ankle. The good news is, it’s sprained not broken and I’ll clean up your hands and get you a tetanus shot. Alright, Kristen?”  
“Yeah, that works for me.”   
The doctor crossed the room and stepped into the hall. “You can come back in now, sir.”

“Is everything?” The concern in his voice dulled the edges of her anger.   
“I’m fine, John. Sprained, not broken. We can go soon. Just waiting for a shot.   
“Tetanus?” He guessed.  
“Yeah.”   
“Better safe than sorry.” He conceded.  
“Phrase of the night, I suppose.” She said grimly.

She decided staying the night at John’s would make the most sense. Gremlin was there anyway and his house was all on one floor---unlike hers where the bedroom was up a narrow, steep staircase. The pain medication they gave her at the hospital had kicked in and she laid her head against the headrest of the carseat. “What do we do now?” She asked quietly, rolling her head to the side to gaze up at him. His lips parted and he wet his lower lip with his tongue. “Nothing.”  
“What?”   
“We do nothing.”   
“John, you’re not making sense.”  
“I’ve been thinking. The guy who came to the shop---you thought he was joking. So, if he comes back that’s what you stick with. You don’t know anything.”   
“But I do know….”  
“Just enough to get you in trouble.” He said as he parked the car in the garage.  
“You’re trouble.” She regretted saying it as soon as the words left her mouth.   
John’s shoulders sagged defeatedly.   
“I didn’t mean--” Kristen reached out for him but he leaned away and got out of the car instead.  
He reappeared on her side of the car, opening the door and offering his arm to help her out.   
“John.”  
“No, I am.” He said, avoiding her gaze.  
“Fuck.” She whispered more to herself than to him.  
“Let’s just get inside and we can talk about everything tomorrow, alright?”  
Kristen just stared at him with her mouth slightly agape.   
“Please?” He asked without meeting her eyes.   
The night air was cool and the only sound came from the waves lapping at the shoreline behind the house and the occasional cricket. He was still avoiding her gaze, but kept his arm outstretched, waiting for her.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first OC so hopefully she's alright. I'm planning on making this into a multi chapter fic -- and of course it will get smutty.


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